| Yay Homecoming is Finally over |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|04:06 pm] |
I need to post in this when I am happy more often..
I swear I am not a crazy person I am generally happy..
I come in here to vent..reason why I look crazy =P
But school is good..going by fast cause it's not to boring ish? I dont know
Umm now that Homecoming and the whole month of September is over with I have nothing but Band..and the occassional Snowball and stuff..but Soccer training is next month and I really want to get my own trainer to help me..We will see..I dont know if my dad would like that though..cause he is so weird about that stuff..
But we will see I really hope I get one..cause I wanna be amazing this year=) *knock on wood*
I wrote Ammo a note the other day pretty much spilling my heart out (need to give it to her still) about life..and I am so scared to leave the people here I decided I mean I know I have time still but ..I dont know I dont like to think about that..I vote we all go away to the same school..so then we wont be here..but we will all still have each other..
=)
Who's with me?! |
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| =/ Another Poopy Day |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|04:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
Alright..Soo Here I go:
Well what is on my mind right now..see I hurt this girl..and I dont even know her..and she is sooo pretty..and it sucks..she hates me..BUt I dont blame her..at all..what so ever..I'd hate me too if I was here..seriously..if you dont know the story then you wouldnt get it but It really bugs me
and then there is this WONDERFUL shit going on about rumors..and me starting them..Why are people seriously out to make me look like a bitch..they GO out of their fucking way to make me look like that..and I dont even know why..People I have never done anything to..those people..What the Fuck..I dont get it..
and on top of it..I think the reason one girl is spreading stuff about me is cause ONE OF MY FRIENDS told me that this girl is pregnant and I am taking the shit for it..
not for long though..
I don't understand why High school is so complicated..I just don't we have so much to go through already without dumb Girls..
which there are to many of now-a-days let me tell ya
to start my day off on the right foot..freakin' Mr. Fraiks yelled at me in homeroom..he is such a douche bag! God..He is sooo ughh I was so pissed off I was about ready to cry anytime I thought about it..I just didn't understand why he handled that way..Oh yea I do..Cause he is a Stupid Head..
I said stupid head cause I dont wanna say Homo or Fag anymore which is what I was going to say...That's mean
to top off my wonderful mood..freakin homecoming is in 2 weeks ish I have a Date, Dress and Hair Appointment..now all I need to do is: Tan,Get Shoes, Get Jewlery, Get a Purse I hope, Get a place to eat. This is not including Hall Decs. Float and all the other shit we have to do! Ohhh Boy..Life
I dont get it Man =/
Why do I suck sometimes? |
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| Survey like thing |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|11:02 pm] |
RICH KID]
[for Swing] You go tanning
[x] You watch The OC/Laguna Beach/The Hills.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[X] You love going to the mall.
[x] You take your cell mobile phone everywhere.
[X]You own musical devices.
[] You love Starbucks.
[X] You have been called a brat.
Total:7
[GOTH]
[] Black is one of your favorite colors.
[X] You have thought about death.
[] You wear chains.
[] You like heavy metal.
[X] You love Hot Topic.
[] You have worn black lipstick.
[] Your hair is dark.
[] You dislike preps.
[] You're an atheist.
[X] You have piercings(on my ears.... does that count?)
Total: 3
[SKATER]
] You can skateboard
[x] You wear plaid.
[X] You love Converse.
[] You hate MTV.
[haha I mock Hani] You have moshed
[] You have/had/want blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair or highlights.
[] You love skater girls/boys. (
[] You hate/dislike pink
Total: 2
[GEEK]
[X] You love computers.
[] You like Star Wars.
[hehehe] You wear/are supposed to wear glasses.
[] You get straight A's.
[the books I like] you love reading
[] You don't care what you look like.(
[x] You have a curfew
[] You always do your homework.
[x] You never miss school unless your sick.
Total: 3
[EMO]
[X]You are depressed sometimes (who ISN'T?)
[x] You have/had black-rimmed glasses
[x]You like the band Thursday.
[x] You cry easily.
[] you like emo music
[] You hate being called emo
[X] You keep/have kept a journal/diary.
[]you have written a sad poem.
[ ] You have/had a sad MySpace layout.
Total: 5
[GHETTO/GANGSTA]
[] You like rap.
[] You are in a gang.
[] You say "nigga" frequently.
[] You wear rubberbands in your pants.
x] You swear a lot.
[] You have said "fo shizzle" and were not kidding
[] You have been called a "playa".
[] You have worn Converse with the tongue flipped out.
[] you own a switch blade
Total: 1
[SCENE/HARDDCOORRE]
] You wear a bandana.
[X] You love the Ninja Turtles.
[x] You never walk anywhere.
[x] You wear/worn slip-on shoes
[] You love Norma Jean.
[X] You wear band tees.
[X] People have called you a freak and meant it
[I pretend] You love to "HARDDCOORE" dance. (OH BABY)
[x] Your hair has been dyed in more than one color.
[] You will kill if called a satanist.
Total: 6..weird
[PREP]
[x] You love Laguna Beach/The OC/The Hills.
[X I want a smaller one] You have/had a tiny/medium sized dog
[] Your everyday outfits consist of pink.
[x] You like buyin shoes A LOT.
[] You shop at AE, A&F.ETC.
[x] You love to shop
[] You Love Skirts.
[] You like Paris Hilton.
[] Getting your nails done is a fun thing.
Total: 4
[ATHLETIC]
[] You watch the Superbowl.
[x soccer] You collect your jerseys
[] You have a special shelf for trophy's and awards
[] You have posters or plaques of famous athletes
[x] Your garage/shed consists of sports equipment
[X] You belong to a school team
[] You are going to a sports summer camp
[x 8 ALL THE WAY] You have a specific number prefered for your jersey
Total: 4
[OTAKU]
[] You know what an Otaku is
[] You Own Anime(Does Avatar count? T.T)
[] You own Manga
[] You've cosplayed
[] You've had Raman or Boba
[] You've bought a box of Pocky
[x] You like videogames
[x] You listen to rock/pop
[x] You know some Japanese
( I use to know Good morning but I forgot..I know hello)
Total: 3
FIRST PLACE: ..Rich Kid...
Second: ahaha Scene/Harcore..ahahaa wow..so not right.. |
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| School |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|09:39 pm] |
Oh boy..it's been a long time..
I GOT MY EAR PIERCED..in case you didnt know..before school started I love it..but They gave me the ugly earring so dont judge it..it's huge I know!
Umm I had the best birthday any one could have asked for..it was pretty amazing no joke..I love all you people who helped make it amazing =P
Ohh man..School started and it's going pretty good..I have been really busy..and stuff but it's good..Couldnt really ask for better people to hang out with I suppose..
Stressful though let me tell you..I wish people knew half the shit that goes on
and you know what I decided I HATE how friends are so two faced like none of my close ones er anything but I dont know..people care to much about other people's business..then again we live in Chilli ..stuff spreads so freakin' fast
anyways I was thinking today about this summer..During Band ;-) Mmmm love that stuff ;-) yea..Not really..anyways I was thinking of like all the stuff that happened like the crazy stuff and whatever...we had ourselves a freakin' amazing summer
I dont really have anything that I am really upset about to write in here to make this entertaining If I would have done this yesterday..It would have been a good one..no joke about that..
One time at Ammo's people throw a bottle of alcohol at us=P and I jumped this thing..(I dont jump but I did) and then hid by a porta potty..and another time..We walked around..FOREVER after I was already sore..=P up hills that was the same time..oh Man..evreything crazy happens there..
Not kidding..I am tired..
and have French tomorrow..Oh Boy..bright and Early too |
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| Uhhh |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|11:49 pm] |
So..Band Camp..I leave Sunday..And I actually dont know how I feel about it..I dont know if I want to..or not..
But see there is soo much freakin' drama going on here..that I dont really wanna stay here..at all
Stress I tell ya..
I was sick like a month ago..got almost better...then we swam on Annie's Birthday and it came back..so I am still semi sick..but getting better..this also sucks since I have 24 hours to feel 100% better =( BLAH
and I decided..people with Penises..automatically suck..they will hurt you..seriously..I am soo done..Specially with people who are mean..like him..I am happy for what I did now..
sorta
not really though..
and I think it is fuckin' crazy..when people YOU DON'T KNOW..forbid their boyfriend to talk to you and your friends..that is crazy..tell him he cant hang out with us..at night or hang out in general..but Tell him to stop talking to us?! Crazy Bitches these days I tell you..
and you know what..someone told me once "It takes two to tango" and then...thinking about that now..that statement came back to bite him in the ass..cause..He kissed first =) Thank you vrey much
any ways this was a random one..
I am sooo scared right now..you have no idea...
BUT ON A BRIGHT NOTE...BROOKIE AND I WENT TO EASTSIDE THEN TO THE HIGH SCHOOL TO FIND JOHNNY...but he wasnt there well he was but he wasnt at the field yet =P |
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| Oh man.. |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|03:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
So.. Lately what has been on my mind..is how certain friends..Yes..Friends..make people feel ugly..like in my case..I have a friend when I am with her..I just feel soo not cute..no matter what..I dont know why..and she isnt mean she is soo sweet but Damn..no matter what..I feel like a loser
and I freak out WAY to much I need to be more calm Like I don't know why but I get so nervous..when it comes to the situation I am now in..cause Like..when you are in one like this..I don't want to get hurt..I am sooooooooooooo Scared of getting hurt it isnt even funny...Like I don't say stuff to protect myself I guess..and I dont know ..This is still new I guess..
Random Stuff about me:
I wear yellow rubber gloves to do the dishes..cause I dont like to touch the water.
I like to read books about people who go through bad times..to get better.
I have songs that remind me of guys I use to like..
and Perfume..weird I know
I remember things that happened..and then start it off by describing the outfit..and When it happens like a year ago I remember..and tell people like Exactly a year ago we were doing...KNow what I mean..it is a bad habit but It is fun to
I LOVE SOCCER..it is something I enjoy..but I HATE when people over talk about it..like that is all they ever freaking do..Yea I like it..but I also have a life
I get bitchy fast
I HATE it when A boy I don't like that likes me tries to do stuff..it freaks me out..
I get uncomfortable soo fast it isnt even funny
and I get hurt fast
This one guy I like is gone for a week plus a day =P But He will be back for the Fourth of July which is good..AND SO FREAKING SOON=D |
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| ohh Summer |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|09:57 pm] |
So..this summer has been good really relaxing and all that stuff =)
Been hanging out with this cute Claire Shull Girl just about everyday=)
I went to Iowa Monday came back yesterday it was fun but not like WHEW cause Claire and I were tired for alot of it. and Last night I stayed the night at Annie's
and let me tell ya that was a night =) haha Funny/CRAZY times
With that I'd like to add I don't like Blue alcohol in water bottles thrown at me..from a speeding car..but that is just me
and we swam forever today it was fun Good talks
But anyways I have been thinking about how lucky I am ..cause like I mean some people don't know who their best friend is..or even who their closest friends are..but I do..THEY NEVER CHANGE..I don't have to think twice about it when I tell people..and that has to suck..to not know who it is..and stuff..cause I mean..I have noticed..how some frineds of mine..not the close ones but other ones are like oohh well I dont know it could be her or her or them..not me I KNOW..and that is sooo freakin amazing..cause not alot of people can do that...
But I can =)
It is my little brother's Birthday today..and I have been thinking about him alot to...cause like I used to be sooo mean to him..BUt I have Gotten better =P
He is a cute little brother and he is now a 12 year old
and the other week..or whatever..I was at Cub's and this little boy probably 10-12 ish was there with his mom..and he had this little action figure..and he couldn't talk right and just said random sound effects..and then when he saw me and my mother..he came up and showed me his Action Figure..and then he did this sign like crossed his arms over his chest and I guess it was suppose to mean like love and pointed at me and then his mom..at that moment this little boy stole my heart..you have no idea..I want to help people like that =) ohh man |
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| </3 |
[May. 12th, 2006|10:05 pm] |
Alright so...Lately..everyfuckingwhere is COUPLES everywhere I see...ANYWHERE they are holding hands..and being all OHH I LOVE YOU..and then I am like yea..=( GOD DAMN IT..I must suck Hard core to not get the right kind of guys..SERIOUSLY..what's wrong with me.I want to know..I am tired of this constant maybe I like you wait till we are close to tell you I dont kind Of thing..IT SUCKS...
Obviously..I am not that good of a person or something
You said you did it so none of us would get hurt...."I like you to much to hurt you" well..you hurt me..and I STILL LIKE YOU..what the fuck..I shouldnt I should HATE YOU...
I can't even put into words how upset I am
Claire you are the best thing ever...
I have never felt this..so unwanted in my whole life...EVER..like errr...what's wrong with me...seriously...=( I just want to..get it all out and away from emotions for a long time..like FOREVER |
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| Healthy...not |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|11:58 am] |
So...Friday night I had this really bad chest thing going so I start FREAKING out..cause it hurt and all that good stuff so I take some medicine with juice cause I can't swallow it and what not..Saturday morning..Soccer against Morton..well see I had to play there was no way I was going to be like Hey I am sick..can I sit out..so I started..and played..Like Shit..no joke it was terrible..so I was taken out..and then put back in later for like 2 minutes and that time I started Balling when I got out..cause there was nothing I could do to give me energy..so Mr. Kilmer comes up and gives me this lil we all have bad days speech and stuff..but yea I couldnt be like Hey so ..remember that time I am sick sir? cause then he would be like wow Pansey..so yea..umm eventually my dad said some not nice things and the game was over and I was pissed so I went home and laid in my bed for like 2 hours got ready all the plans and stuff then went to Claire's then La Gandola with Kelsey and Claire walked to "Tyler Park" (where the stage is) ate our food Claire's mom came and got us and we went to the High School..WELL by this time..I was dying my eyes were all blood shot and I was coughing so Freaking much I thought I was going to die =P Brooke Jess Billy and Alex showed up Claire Molly and Kelsey danced (You girls did AMAZING) and then Brooke came and stayed the night..well It was so pretty out we took a million blankets and went to look at the stars..so we went out there with Teddy Geiger cd in and laid there and talked..saw SIX shooting stars no joke it was amazing..umm that is when my coughing got super bad and at this time I had onthick pj pants a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie..so we were out there like 2 hours and decided we wanted to eat and sleep..well I didnt want to eat cause I was afraid I'd get sick..so yea we ended up sleeping Brooke talked about Eyeballs it was funny...and then I wake up at like 3 am freaking out cause I was burning up..like crazy so I take off the hoodie run to my room and lay there in my bra and pants..so then I am like crying and coughing and all that good stuff..mom comes in and gives me medicine eventaully I fall asleep waking up at like 8ish then Brooke got up and we just laid there really trying to figure out what we were going to do eventually I just told dad to take me to the doctors and so we dropped Brookie off and then went to the Doctors he told us all this medicine I need
P.s I had a temp of 101.7
so starting Friday here is all the medicine I have had:
Friday- I had Tylenol Sore Throat
Saturday- Tylenol Sore Throat
2 tylenol pills
and eye drops?
Robeteson (not spelled correctly but it was cough medicine)
Sunday-2 more tylenol
Strep Throat Medicine
coughing pills
2 advil
Dont know about you..but to me that is alot
I wish I were at schoolright now..no joke... |
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| SOCCER IS OWNING |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|09:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
so...Lately
I vent in here..but now..I think I am going to go back and ride the fourwheeler more..it is the best therapist in the world..
I will still use this though..
umm so I pretty much hate girls that wear makeup in weird ways and have emo sweeps and all that shit..and then like "Claim" the "hardcore boys" WHY..OH YEA..CAUSE THEY LOOK THE FUCKING SAME...idiots...I hate girls in general
I also hate when boys get full of themselves..and are all stuck up to even talk to you anymore when they are around "those" girls..LAME 9000 god..
So I love soccer no joke I wish I was amazing at it..and then..I would more to Europe and steal David Beckham
OH OH OH i found a boy that when he plays guitar..I CRY..no joke he is that amazing I love him to death..and lives in Canada.but One day I will find him (Jake Epstein) oh baby
I am to hyper to sleep
and Eric just told me he loved me..=) |
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| So...I just need to get over it |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|01:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
Alright
A year ago yesterday I was 10000 times different than I was kn ow...umm So Yea..it's just weird..like Sometimes think about that..makes me mad..
I dont even know what I want to do anymore..
All I have been doing is trying to just make sure everyone else is happy...
Sure you can ditch me to be with them..as long as you are happy
Sure Boy I like you can like a million others..as long as you are happy
AKA i hate being replaced
but..this is what I want to get at..not yet a year but soon..ago..I met someone,...that I thought wasthis AMAZING person..amazing amazing amazing..amazing..no joke..he is...when he is in "that mood" One time he called me beautiful at soccer and I about died..I mean come on I am an 8th grader at the time this is a junior in High School =P....and now..he hates me..no he HATES ME..he despises me..and It bothers me but not to the point were I would change it..cause What am I suppose to say? Hey Sorry I am honest? Sorry I couldnt not tell...Sorry We didnt do anything..
In the long run I pity him..he pretty much has a life based on lying and cheating..and...all that stuff and he is better than that
Sometimes when he was in the nice to Sarah Mood..as I like to call it..he'd do this half smile..whew that smile..steals my heart..it is an AMAZING smile for a person to have..no joke
Lately 98% of all these people I am around let me know I am failing at doing something..And that is getting to me
I feel like a big let down
I just want to be settled for once..I just want to be the way I "Dream" about..Iw ant to be the way I have always wanted to be..I have my girls..now I want that guy
But I mean come on ladies..that situation is a hard on to get..cause..Guys are hard to find..the good ones..like I dont know..ughh
It is almost 2..and I AM still up..stuff is just eating away man
Worse thing is..cause it's because Of a person..who I thought doesnt matter
ERIC...why did you get off like 5 hours ago we need to be talking
(bet you liked that shout out=) ) |
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| " the shit has hit the fan" |
[Mar. 21st, 2006|10:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
So.. lately alot was good..then one day it all just screwed up...
p.s when say something that is insulting me in some way doesnt hurt...but if you know it does..you should calm me down.. cause I hold it all in
and so yea...came home vented to the mom Hani over heard..told my vent and then yea...
So I spent that night crying my face off..
Then People started some.."nice" Rumors about me..making me pretty much look like a slut..and making someone I thought was different than that when it comes to our friendship..pretty much call me a liar..yup well by that time of the night I had cried for the past 45 minutes So I went to text em' and my message was so messed up I couldnt understand it but yea
Please..just leave me alone people I don't know what I did to make you all out to get me...but leave me the fuck alone
and did you know that a good percentage of Self mutilators have been Sexually abused...sorry that was my ADD but that has been in my head all day since I saw it on Oprah..but yea
ANYWAYs...lately..aka passed 4-5 days I have been so freaking negative..doesnt help that I have people going OUT of their way to make sure..everything falls through..
well listen unless I sit you down and let you SEE the real me and let you hear all my stories..and GIVE you my trust..don't tell people you know all this shit..cause you don't...YOU DON'T YOU DON't
SO on to another subject
I hate when people are scared..of getting hurt..cause if it is going to be great then WHY not give it a shot..if it turns out bad that is one chance..but at least you won't regret it..WONDERING what could have happened you know?
UGHHH i dont know I am excited for Spring Break...That is what I need
I have so many stories to tell but not enough energy
I did realize my new Biggest fear today..and it is that I am TERRIFIED all the people I really care about will eventually leave..it has happened to much to me lately and now I have to prepare myself..for next August...yea it is a ways away..but I don't want to lose what I had with any of these people like now they say we will stay in touch..but what if..we don't no joke that will kill me..and It is only two people really..that have had such an Impact on me this year..
I jsut want to get the hell out of here..and get on with life...grow up and Live...
Hate Chillicothe and all the damn lies people say...
Just Leave already...(dont worry) |
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| ...............................I don't even know anymore |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|07:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
...alright....Today was the worst day of my LIFE..the worst ever..ever..ever..ever..ever? YEA it sucked..k oh I wake up all happy take my nice lil shower with some Panic! at the Disco..sing some songs..get ready..get dressed in a shirt khakis and a jean jacket..get ready some more in my room *knock knock knocn* Hey Dad....THAT IS SO SLUTTY blah blah blah alright...he leaves...i am semi pissed so then..go talk to my mom..and see lately..she is like calm down stop hugging boys at basketball games..and I am like oh okay..NO ..i love hugging that is jsut me..it doesnt mean anything most of the time..stop trying to change me..then we talk about depression and she makes a bitchy remark..and see..I get depressed..really easily..like..REAL BAD..so It hurt..so I had had it..I go to my room have a lil crying time..allow 10 minutes..then move on..then I find out..she has to take me to school *gun shot*
Sitting in the car..with some Jack Johnson..my thoughts oh this will make everything better..well let's just say..Flake has bad timing..so then I get out..mom ends the wonderful morning with I love you..I think she said it..just in case someone heard..she'd sound good
So then I get to school..and the second I am in there..emotions pretty much take over..but I smile it off that is what i do..then someone mentions something about me ending up in a hospital.........So then..i couldnt get it out of my head..I just couldn't let go of that..so yea..by 5th hour..i had major pain..cause I am a girl..so I wasnt to happy..like I was almost crying..it hurt that bad..and then I just got annoyed with EVERYONE (almost) around me..so I sat with Jake..and he just made it better..cause I asked to Cuddle..and he did..so we just sat there and he just..was cool about me not being good feeling
Then..It hits me..this is the worst Day I have ever had..but I am like Wait I am hanging out with Two of the best Girlies in the world in like 10 minutes so Yea..I go to DG with them get some tank tops and some sharpies..and go to Claire's which gets my mind off alot..then soccer which really helped..then
Mom picks me up
and I was in a good mood..then she blew it..I can't even begin to tell you..how bad what she said tore me down...Rumor has it..some parent told her that I am wild..and all this other stuff..making me sound like a slut..she was so mean about it..like I dont even know..then she starts to get nice..think that matters to me..think I can get what she said out of my head..NO ..no ..no
So I was balling the whole way home..then I get home..Britni calls..asks me to come over and hot tub ( in my mind i was like she saved me I am outta here) ask..NO NO NO..I AM A BITCH NO..that is what come out of my moms mouth..so I wasl ike oh okay..start crying again..get in a super hot shower with some Eminem on go to my room do some homework while listening to From First to Last...and do my nails..
Then I get on..and ERIC gets on..and just talking to him..makes me happy..I don't know why..but you are lucky if you have someone like him as a friend..and so does Britni and I am talking to her as we speak..about Swing
On to that Subject: I am so nervous and
CLAIRE AND ALEX GOT ON COURT..cause they want to be just like me and Billy ;-) how Ironic I know hehe I am so happy for you kids..no lie.. |
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| I had a bad day again |
[Feb. 23rd, 2006|07:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
Funny how that song is stuck in my head
Let me tell you..
Never let something that made you smile be your regret...
and..don't spend your whole life saying sorry..cause if someone doesnt accept it in the first place..maybe it's cause the way they feel..like you don't deserve it..even if you did something okay..or something real bad...if they can't accpet it..then..=/ oh well?
I thought you and I were to close to not get along?
Oh man..this weekend better be good
Saturday movie in Peoria..
Friday Game..maybe a Girl night..I think we need a girl night
AND on top of it all..to like something and realize that it is so dumb...DRIVES SOMEONE CRAZY
.....hot tub, my girls...chocolate,jones soda,anything happy..I NEED THAT NOW..now now now now now
I can't tell you I hate that it happened..cause at the moment it was fine..after is when it hit me...but oh well
I just can't take everyone's bullshit anymore...High School Drama...shit..man..I am just going to..have fun..and not care..that is what Kind of person I want to be
on a brighter note:
Claire AND Annie..i LOVE YOU GIRLS more than anything..you are always there..to make me laugh
Eric- You are always there to tell me the truth...and bring me "back to the earth" er whatever..once I get into a pity party..or..just being dumb=P
Pretty sure those 3 people..are my favorites..no joke |
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| Happy Happy Happy |
[Feb. 17th, 2006|07:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
So for some random reason..this is where I go to ..tell my feelings...well then..see TheN People read it..and are like is that about me..who is that about....You are desperate..blah blah...you know..but I don't blame them..cause then I realize..I don't even remeber who it is about..
hahaha Thanks to Eric <--p.s that one is my Favorite =P
Anyways so Life is good..You win some you lose some..but Come on..Life goes on..I am a FRESHMEN..you know how much more life I have to go through..BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS..I HAVE GOALS:
1. Go through High School without doing Drugs Smoking or getting totally wasted..some drinking..I know might happen..But I dont see the point in "having a party" and not being able to remember it =P
2. Not be a slut by the time I am a Senior OR have people think I am one..even If Im not one..cause I mean..I see "those" Girls every day..And..well I dont like them..so why would I wanna be like them..so I am sticking with my morals if you will
3. To Fall for a Great Guy..and Have him fall back..I know that is mushy and what not..but I mean..I deserve at least one
4. To keep my Girls till the end of time =)
5. To stick with mine and Kerri's rule..cause "those" are just icky =P
6. ERIC...haha To hang out with Eric..Cause I have a promise to Fill and all =P which is going to be AMAZING ..AND soon..
7. To Not make the same mistakes twice...and to stay out of people's relationship stuff...that will just SCREW you over in the end
8. To tell this one Guy I met last May..stuff..and HAVE a serious Conversation about what is going on in his life
9. To help someone who is like way into Drinking and/or Drugs..stop and get them on the "right track"
10. To stay with my no younger or same age Boy Rule..just cause..I needed something for 10 =P
So i HATE bowling..specially for P.E. that is so lame..its not a sport its GOD...like if it werent for school that would be better..but cause there is a teacher there..it just is weird..like ...I dont know..he doesnt let us bowl fun..and he yelled at my Group..what an ass =P
But other wise school is good...B days (today) I have an akward lunch till Kerri Or Lauren Wonders over cause I sit with Genna Adam Marshall Hannah and Amie And I like them..BUT it just you know...I can't explain it...
But..It is getting better
and I am getting better..at getting over the down times in life..I dwell on them to much |
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| Oh Man..I'm Ready for Break Down |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|08:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
Alright Alright Alright
Deep Breath...in out...oh man...
I don't know what to do anymore..MY GROUP IS CRUMBLING AND THEY ARE ACTING LIKE THEY DON'T CARE?!
stupid Swing..is tearing us apart..WHAT THE FUCK guys...it is a dance a SCHOOL DANCE...we can't just keep talking shit about one another...
WHY DONT YOU ALL GET IT...
it's been tearing me up since Thursday..the girls that are always suppose to be there..are slowly turning on someone else in "our group"
YES WE HAVE A GROUP DAMN IT..WHAT HAPPENED..
how can you just be like that and be like welp I am going to ruin this and make some stress on Sarah....yes there is stress on me..cause you guys aren't worth the risk of losing..YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT
I DONT GET IT...of course I am the one to freak out can you blame me...CAN YOU?!
Kerri is one that i can Rely on she is always there to talk..to make my happy..to LET ME KNOW SHE IS THERE...why are the ones that have always been there..the ones that are getting harder to talk to
I hate girls..if you can't tell
They Lie..and change what you said..and they act like your friends..just to hear how you feel to tell people..I am not going to trust anymore ...People suck...I don't get people's motives in life...
YOU THINK one chance is all someone needs...
god god god god god god god..please help me with this stress and stupid drama..and the freaking pms-ing going on..MY GOD....HELP us
yea that is right...we need help Friends don't do this to each other..its like a law..
I am not saying this to hurt someone..i am saying it..cause I am afraid to say it to your face..cause I know it's going to hurt to be told it..cause then you will see that you aren't the only one thinking it..and that it might become reality..but We have been through so much are we going to late lame stuff tear us apart....
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| No Explanations But I am going to |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|09:42 pm] |
NO EXPLANATIONS
100 Yes's or 100 No's
You can only say yes or no.
You are not allowed to explain anything.
1. Taken a picture naked? I didn't take it we just got done swimming and I was changing in the tent..and I had a pillow over me..and they took it
2. Painted your room? Yah
3. Kissed a member of the same sex? cheek
4. Drove a car? Yeah
5. Danced in front of your mirror? anytime there is music
6. Have a crush? yah
7. Been dumped? yah
8. Stole money from a friend? Nope
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yah Beau
10. Been in a fist fight? with David
11. Snuck out of your house? yah to a cemetary
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yup
13. Been arrested? Nope
14. Made out with a stranger? no
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yah
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? Yah
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? nope i live next to Kelly Jones and a cemetary...
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? nope
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yah
20. Seen someone die? Nope
21. Been on a plane? yeah
22. Kissed a picture? yeahhhh every day
23. Slept in until 3? Yes till 5
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? yes
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yup all the freaking time in summer
26. Made a snow angel? Yes and a snow star with the Fourwheeler
27. Played dress up? Yah
28. Cheated while playing a game? Yup
29. Been lonely? Yup
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? nope
31. Been to a club? nope
32. Felt an earthquake? nope
33. Touched a snake? yea and skin
. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? Homecoming Court...Fell real Hard, Realized who are my REAL friends, felt real low
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I have never made one why start now
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? A girl who wanted to fight me =P is that close?
4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope
5. What countries did you visit? America =)
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? Him..OFFICIALLY..and to be amazing at Soccer..and to keep the girls that are real close to me forever..and all the new seniors that I am close with
7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 4th of July August 13 August 17 August 1-5, September 16/17, October 5, =/ =)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Not lying to people about how I feel so they feel better
9. What was your biggest failure? lsoing trust in a person that use to be my sister...Screwing myself over with keeping it in me so long
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? nope
11. What was the best thing you bought? ummm CDs and Underwear
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? no ones
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Depressed..my old best Friend
14. Where did most of your money go? Underwear..i love that stuff
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Homecoming
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?Flake..and Sweet Home Alabama
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? both
ii. thinner or fatter? was thinner now I dont know
iii. richer or poorer? yeah i never have money
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Be honest about how I feel..and that
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Trusting..and putting it all out there
20. How will you be spending Christmas? at my house with my family:)
22. Did you fall in love in 2005? I have never been in love but I fell in hard core Like
23. How many one-night stands? none?
24. What was your favorite TV program? VH1 any of em
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? kinda more like Hurt real bad
26. What was the best book you read? Party Room..cause I read it IN Florida
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? JACK JOHNSON
28. What did you want and get? a kiss
29. What did you want and not get? official-ness
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Boondock Saints
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 14 and I got an amazing party with Great People
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Friends being there and meeting Eric and Paul those two are pretty awesome
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? hahaha randomish
34. What kept you sane? Claire
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? The guys from Boondock Saints
36. What political issue stirred you the most? alot
37. Who did you miss? this one person i lost a couple years ago
38. Who was the best new person you met? Eric is my Favorite=P We clarified that tonight
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Everything Happens FOR A REASON
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "I know that I have made mistakes, but I swear I'll never wrong you again"- postal service
(kinda backwards for the year)
34. Ran a red light? yes.honest mistake
35. Been suspended from school? no
36. Had detention? no
37. Been in a car accident? more like a car tap
38. Hated the way you look? yes..right now i look pastey
39. Witnessed a crime? YEA AT HOLLISTER I WATCHED PEOPLE STEAL CLOTHES AND FREAKED OUT=P
40. Pole danced? nope
41. Been lost? Yes from Pearce to South School =/
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? does Texas or Florida count
43. Felt like dying? not that bad
44. Cried yourself to sleep? yup
46. Sang karaoke? yah
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yea..over and over
48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
50. Kissed in the rain? not yet
51. Sang in the shower? Yah
52. Made out in a movie theater? yea like a zilliion times...=/ but not for a long time
53. Had a dream that you married someone? YES
54. Glued your hand to something? yup a fake nail
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? I dont think that works
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? umm..nope..my Halloween Costume was slutty but not that bad
57. Been a cheerleader? Nope I wasnt good enough
58. Sat on a roof top? I wish
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? ummm..nope I think I have
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes i made zach watch butterfly effect with me and it isnt even scary..but yea he went to sleep and i woke him up
61. Played chicken? yes
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yyea
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yah
64. Broken a bone? nope
65. Been easily amused? all the time
66. Laughed so hard you cry? Yes
67. Mooned/flashed someone? yah yea I have =)
68. Cheated on a test? yup
69. Forgotten someone's name? yes
70. Slept naked? k..so I have this problem and Somehow I wake up with some clothes off..or all of it..I dont know how
73. Blacked out from drinking? not from drinking or drugs
74. Played a prank on someone? Yes but I am terrible at it
75. Gone to a late night movie? Yes
76. Made out to anything not human? nope is that possible
77. Failed a class? no
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? yes...
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? Nope..that would be crazy
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? No
81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? yea at the Whites
82. Thrown strange objects? Yes
83. Felt like killing someone? Yah
84. Felt like running away? yah
85. Ran away? nope
86. Did drugs? nope
87. Had detention and not attend it? Nope
89. Made a parent cry? kinda..and then I cried with her
90. Cried over someone? Yup
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? Yes
92. Dated someone more than once? yes
93. Own a dog? Yes
95. Own an instrument? yeah FLUTE
96. Been in a band? yup
97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? nope
98. Broken a CD? Yes
99. Shot a gun? no
100. Had feelings for one of your best/good friends? Yes kinda |
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| Oh Life |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|09:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
Alright So..here I go:
Lately I have been really easily annoyed..REALLY easily...like I don't know People can be really gay..and drive me crazt..like If I don't like you..and you know it..dont expect me to act like I do..I never do..dont be offended accept it.everyone should..it's no biggie..you are going to meet a million people in your life..if you dwell on all the ones that hate you then..where is your life going to go...Oh man..i tend to flip out alot lately..maybe this weekend in Iowa is well needed..
Just to get away..to think it all through and get it all figured out
Tomorrow I am making a move..But I am losing confidence...
Boys: Well See this is how it is..I got a lot in my life..none are Boyfriends or stuff like that but Friends..then I have the same fucking one..I am not going to cuss unless needed it is needed..cause seriously..it drives me crazy...You Break My Heart..and Fix It..OVER and Over agian...and then I have like couple real close ones..and one is always there..he never leaves..like Whenever I need someone I have him you know and sometimes I wonder what if it was more than a friend..but then the other guy comes into play..and I am like nope I can't think about that..cause what if I have a chance and lose it cause I am with this guy that is only there to help me over him..but If I can have him I want that chance..I dont know if this is making sense to anyone OH OH OH AND THEn THERE is this one guy..k..i am TERRIFIED TO talk to him for a long time..cause I don't wanna like him again..he is a "bad kid" in alot of people's eyes..but the person i met at the end of last year...was AMAZING..and I like to think he is still that guy sometimes...with alot of rumors..
but in case you are wondering..it is still the fucking same guy..and will be for awhile
It will work out well it will work out well it will work out well
I say that all the time..
BECAUSE when you stay positive that will be your outcome..when y ou think that everything sucks..that is what it will be sucky...so no one else helps you with that..you make you life..no one else..you can't put it in someone else's hands...IT IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS..you make it...no one else...you want something tell yourself that you will do it..and you will do it..if you are like maybe ...we will see..NO DONT DO THAT...IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK..YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES YOU GET IT..OR ELSE...you dont deserve it..there are going to be a million people who want to fight you for something..you have to prove to them that you are the one who deserves it..that you are the one..who earns it..People suck...
P.s I am healthy-ish again..and I should start tanning soon..but i am not going to go crazy with that ..cause I dont wanna look fake..but i am tired of being Pastey..that is such a sick word..and that is what color I am..GROSS..
and If you see me in the hall watch out..I ran into like 10 people in a row the other day and today I suck? uh huh
and I almost got hit by a car...
and
I almost caught the kitchen on fire..cause yea..I tried to act like I didnt see it..and then I was like SCREAMING and crying and mom was like sarah that is a bad joke then she came and was like SHIT and put the Flaming pan thing in the water..but the Mac and Cheese was good in case you were wondering
My Secret:
I put myself in bad situations rumor has it ;-)
OH YEA AND I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH THIS KERRI GIRL..SHE IS AMAZING
It's your choice to let him break your heart..it is also your choice..to give it back
p.s. I love my friends..they are the best people in the world..no joke |
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| Random Pictures |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|12:29 am] |
|
Aren't we Cute?!
What could be better than 2 SETS of us
That was our Mary-Kate and Ashley Pose..minus i look High...
I am not face planting in the Snow..i was sliding down and it just looks like i am..True Story
I look Tan They look HOT
This is what you will look like if you are homeless and it's 5 in the morning ;-)
YOU GUYS YOUR BOAT IS FILLING UP WITH WATER...IT'S LIKE THE TITANIC...
"Sarah Hey look there is a squirell Go chase it" "Go to your box" " THEY TOOK IT AWAY" haha that was my recap..they loved me in that box waking em up
I play that..uh huh
So i am now done |
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| Oh Boy |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|02:12 pm] |
So I am moving Next Door this summer *knock on wood* We are starting the remodeling on the house soonish like within the next couple of weeks..so that is good
I found out that i may not be going to Florida over spring break..cause it would only be me and David with my parents and Claire=/ so i am bummed cause seriously..i just wanna get away from all the stupid people with fucking SHITTY ATTITUDES..no joke People suck..i seriously like 6 Freshmen that is it..and they are the people who WILL BE WITH ME ALL FOUR YEARS?! ughhhh I really am gonna look into getting outta here sooner..no joke...I don't really care for many people at all anymore..not even kidding..i learned soon which is good that you don't have to waste time on people you dont care for..you dont have to fake it..that is a waste time of your life on them...
I also came to the conclusion i am not going to kiss ass cause you are older..dont mean to sound bitchy but what is the point..deep down you probably dont like me if you want me to kiss your ass so why should I..both of us would get no where..instead we should just go on about our lives not caring no joke
Boy- haha so I am stuck still but i love it..i am happy for the most part..this guy is nice and all..so i am happy if he is happy =) You don't really get people like this..people who are so laid back and stuff like even if all i get outta this is a Friendship then it is worth it..cause having people like him in your life is important
BLACK LIGHT DANCE- Okay..so thinking back on this Dance..i regret..ALOT..no joke like not stuff that i am like Damn it eww and stuff i just wish i did some better stuff..like I am not kidding i am sure babies were made but it was so much fun..like it was really no worrying..that is how i did it..i didnt care what happened as long as i had fun but seriously..here are some conversations i heard/experienced
Boy-My Balls hurt (referring to the girl grinding to hard)
Girl-My ass hurts..
YOU THINK THEY WOULD FIND A BETTER WAY TO DANCE..they didn't
Boy-Is that all you got
.....- That is all i am going to give =P haha
Boy-I am so Horny Guys WHEW...no joke that really was said...
Let's Turn off the lights and Play Who's in my mouth ;-) haha
but all in all it was alot of fun...=P no joke i had a good time
Then "My Girls" stayed the night and we just went to sleep it was nice though no joke i love Annie Britni Claire And Molly so much those Girls are AMAZING...they dont come any better
I don't mean for this to be negative..i love all the people in my life like i love most of them=P Seriously the end of this summer i am probably going to be miserable..i am going to miss alot of seniors but then there are somethat i am happy are leaving
anyways
I need a Beach no joke
I am gonna learn Guitar, Poker and how to break dance now haha no joke you wait |
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